Last week the Flawless team was joined by our colleague Bernadette Pleasant in Harlem sharing our message of self-love and kindness with our You are Flawless workshop at the Thurgood Marshall Academy Lower School. After working together with the 5th-grade students on how to see the perfection in every person, we sat down with Bernadette to learn more about her thoughts on emotional intelligence and some of her self-care tips.
Bernadette is a Speaker, Somatic Healer, and Creator of Femme! – a mind-body wellness program. The inspiration behind creating Femme! stems “from my need to heal. I found this work from my continued need to heal.” She is certified in the Nia Technique, Nia 5 Stages, Ageless Grace, Somatic Healing, Reiki, and Integrated Energy Therapy and also studies in African, Tribal, and Free Dance. She travels around the world to empower individuals through her classes, private workshops, retreats and conference engagements. Here are some of the tips for self-care practice we learned from our conversation with Bernadette:
Be Honest With Yourself
People say ‘I’m fine.’ We say it because we don’t want to deal with our own pain and we don’t want to burden other people with whatever we’re experiencing.
Bernadette stresses the need to be transparent with our emotions, not only to others but to ourselves. It is often easier to mask emotions than to process them and come face to face to the challenges we may be experiencing emotionally. Bernadette encourages others to be “compassionate with what you’re feeling” and to honestly share that feeling when someone genuinely inquires about your emotional state. If you’re conditioned to reply with an automated response such as “I’m okay” or “I’m fine,” next time try to take a moment and reflect on how you’re truly feeling. Bernadette is a firm believer that saying how you feel matters.
Meditation
I have a serious meditation practice. It is important for me to get still.
Bernadette’s meditation skill set was on full display during our Flawless Workshop. As one can imagine, when working with elementary school students the energy can be on super high speed. Bernadette was able to help the children regulate with ease by having them close their eyes, raise their hands out in front of them, and whisper “you are flawless.” It is this same self-regulation that Bernadette takes into her classes with Femme! As well as in her own personal life.
Movement
I do a lot of movement. I find that it is necessary for my body to move throughout the day.
Whether it’s a dance break in the middle of the day, stretching, yoga, walking outside, or simply “whatever feels good” Bernadette finds a way to incorporate moving in her daily repertoire. By moving you are pouring into yourself and quite literally feeling your feelings. Harvard Health even reinforces Bernadette’s point as studies show that there may be a stronger connection between our brain and bodies than we think. This connection is a “two-way street” so as much as our brain health affects our movement, movement can affect our brain health as well.
So whether all three tips work for you or they simply work as a guide to finding the best practice of self-care for you, utilize the wisdom bestowed from the Flawless Bernadette Pleasant to find your personal routine. There is no right way to practice self-care – there is just the right way for you.
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