We’re excited to share this note from Board Member Ross Szabo, originally featured in his monthly newsletter. A big thanks to Ross for allowing us to share his insights with our community!
When I’m overwhelmed with stress and uncertainty I eat a lot of sweets. The escape to sugar has always been one of my go to urges to cope. There are so many mental health messages that focus on all of the ways we can take care of ourselves. The steps we can take to find calm or peace. The simple solutions to take time for oneself or ground ourselves. All of these messages are important, because they can be practices that allow us to try things that help. However, there are times when no matter what we do we can’t balance our mental health. Times when the forces we are facing are larger than the practices we can employ. It’s ok to not be ok.
This month has been a reminder for me that when things feel out of control it can be hard to find long periods of time when I can balance my mental health. Balancing my mental health means I can do all of the things that I typically do. This month has felt similar to past times when I have faced trauma or sudden loss. When my dad died in 2017, I wasn’t able to balance my mental health for 5-6 months. I was in therapy. I knew how to practice breath work, use gratitude, connect to something larger than myself and share my feelings with others. Those things helped in short moments or in little bursts, but ultimately I would return to the devastation of losing my dad and not be able to feel whole or feel ok. I would return to the underlying sense of dread, loneliness and melancholy.
We live in a quick fix society that implores us to get over whatever it is that we are experiencing. Our short attentions spans have time for headlines or moments when we feel for others and then we are expected to move on. I see this in Los Angeles with the fires. I see this in other parts of the country when people face trauma or uncertainty and are expected to go back to life as normal when the cameras pan away to the next disaster.
I’m using this month’s newsletter as a reminder that it truly is ok to not always have everything figured out or be able to bounce back. It’s ok to be scared, depressed, angry and every other emotion we may feel. It’s ok to sit with those uncomfortable emotions, while having our short mental health practices help us in small ways, but not get us all the way back to balance. It’s ok to eat the sweets. It’s ok to not be ok.
Ross
