Valentine’s Day can make us feel like we have to find someone to love and appreciate us in the romantic sense — an external source of love can feel like the only game in town. At the Flawless Foundation, we view this day a little differently. Last year, I spoke with our board member Ross Szabo about the importance of self-forgiveness and compassion. “Seeing the perfection is also forgiveness and understanding that as we grow, we may do things or say things that we’re not proud of, but they shouldn’t define us,” Szabo remarked. The year before that, I suggested that instead of looking for someone to “be yours” for the holiday, you instead practice self-love, self-acceptance, and ask yourself to be your own Valentine.
In one way, my message for this Valentine’s Day hasn’t changed: We must learn to love ourselves, see our own perfection, forgive our “flaws.” This year feels a little different for me because of a recent experience I had while visiting the PeaceLove Studios in Las Vegas, where I realized that I, myself, needed to revisit the practice of self-love and self-forgiveness.
PeaceLove Studios is a remarkable initiative. Jeff Sparr, who lives with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, started this mental-wellness initiative after discovering how effective painting could be in managing his mental health challenges. Sparr ended up selling some of his works for upwards of $16,000. “I painted, it made me feel better,” he remembers thinking, and concluded that “maybe it could help others.” So, Sparr took the funds, committed to articulating this message of hope and creativity for those with mental illness, and launched PeaceLove Studios in Rhode Island.
The studio provides several programs, including a speaker series (which the Flawless Foundation will be taking part in this May), training programs for expressive art facilitators called “Creators,” and school-based initiatives that encourage discussions about mental health through storytelling and visual arts activities. Yet, their studio — with a new location just opened in Las Vegas — serves as a true healing space, offering expressive art experiences in movement, storytelling, painting, and other artistic media. Adults and children alike are welcome to come create art with access to unlimited supplies, taking the time to create meaningful peace of mind.
I went to Las Vegas for the studio’s grand opening, and when I sat down to participate in the two-hour creative expression workshop, I was a little nervous. Now, I’m not an artist; a creative person, a singer and dancer, yes, but I’ve never possessed a strong set of visual art skills. I consider myself armed with a toolbox of self-compassion, self-acceptance, and forgiveness, traits that I practice constantly in my work with the Flawless Foundation. Working on my own art project, I got stuck. I couldn’t create exactly what I wanted, and the level of insecurity and self-judgment that arose out of this frustration was surprising to me. For most of my life I’ve struggled with perfectionism, and this incident made me confront how potent and damaging those feelings of inadequacy could be.
Self-forgiveness is a practice; self-compassion is a practice. I learned a great deal from working on this visual art project, namely that we need to continuously try new things, even if they are difficult or foreign to us. I also grew immensely from confronting feelings of insecurity I thought I had already mastered.
This month at the Flawless Foundation, we launch the #Flawless16 social media campaign. And I can think of no better way to welcome a month of self-acceptance than by confronting my own need to practice these skills. On Valentine’s Day, whether or not you are joined by a special someone in the romantic sense, I urge you to remember that the foundation for any form of love is self-love — something we can all use more of. Because the truth is, we are all flawless!
