Here we are. It is February again. These are the shortest, darkest days of the year, and in many parts of the country, the coldest as well. And yet, these days are also filled with light. The year is young. Everywhere there are fresh starts, new beginnings, and the promise of a bright and flourishing spring. The holidays around this time are filled with hope and love: Martin Luther King Day, Lincoln’s Birthday and Valentine’s Day too.
Martin Luther King Jr. Day is a time of honoring and remembrance of the gift of love for everyone in this country. So, how utterly ironic that on this past holiday weekend, we must mourn the loss of a boy who was stabbed by his ten-year old best friend to death in Cajon, California.
Not only that, but just last week an 18-year-old girl was sentenced to life in prison for murdering her nine-year-old friend when she was only 15 years old. Both of these children, at the time of the incidents were being treated for serious brain disorders.
There is no doubt that tragedies like these can happen. That they do, and that they could happen anywhere at anytime is a deeply disturbing and heart-wrenching truth. We shake our heads and wonder, what can be done? It is easy when faced with such horrendous violence to cast blame and to want to hold someone responsible.
The fact is, we are talking about children, children whose biological brain variations profoundly affect the ability to control extreme impulses.
Yes, this is grief, darkness, outrage, but I would argue that the most terrible and shocking things are really just enormous cries for love. And not just any love, but a profound and expansive love, a love of action, a love of new ideas, a love which brings deep, compassionate understanding to places few would dare to enter.
It is awe inspiring that the family of the victim in the case of the ten-year old boy responded in compassion not hatred. They chose love. They said, “He is not a monster.”
That is courage and compassion in action. It is what we see everyday in our work at Flawless- the magic of love, miracles and a world that is moving towards seeing the perfection in every child.
When you take incredible grief, mix it with hope and then add love, you have what we have come to call the “Flawless Elixir.” It is a potent and gorgeous force. At The Flawless Foundation, we believe that we need to stop blaming, discriminating and casting aside.
At Flawless we have seen children, who everyone has given up on, completely turn around. They do not just improve, but they thrive. And so we dream…….
We have a dream that the healing miracles we have seen with yoga and mindfulness practices will be integrated into every school system in this country.
We have a dream that the revolutionary work of Dr. Ablon of Think:Kids called, “Collaborative Problem Solving” will be a household name, where every family and teacher is trained in this effective evidence-based therapy.
We have a dream that every teacher, parole officer, judge and person who works in the juvenile justice system will understand and adopt Dr. Ablon’s philosophy of “Kids do well if they can” and stop shaming and blaming children with these brain based behavioral challenges.
We are finding that all these dreams are coming true….flawlessly. When you believe in, and show up for a dream, amazing things start to happen… We have proven to be a viral grassroots movement, fueled by love itself. People have rallied around us to support our work in every way, every day.
The list of generosity, hope and love is endless. Yes, broken hearts can heal.
With hope, with love.
Happy Valentines Day.Tags: Brain Based Behavioral Challenges, Compassion, CPS, Dr. Stuart Ablon, Dream, Hope, Love, Mindfulness, Think:Kids, Valentine's Day, Yoga